GOOOAAAALLLL!

I saw this yesterday at a Starbucks in München. Apparently, these were all over the place during the World Cup. The ball is made out of urinal cake and the objective is to push it into the goal. I'll let you guess as to how you're supposed to do it. (Hint: it does not involve your nose.)

BYOB

Not only do these sandals protect your feet against hot pavement, gravel and pointy things, but they also open your beer. Though I imagine people might have issue taking a beer you just opened with your shoe. Not me. Beer me.

Rabbit Rabbit.

Stop (Hammer Time!). Don't say a word. Now, say "Rabbit rabbit." Don't ask why. Just do it.

Music Playlist

Just some random songs. Good stuff. Enjoy.

Procrastination

These are my testing supplies.

VisualDNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Idea: Commission of Dams

Jared and I had this idea a while back. Why we never committed it to writing and sent it to the proper authorities, I'll never know.

With all the dams holding back the water of our nation's rivers, lakes and reservoirs, while at the same time, providing valuable renewable energy to some of our country's most valuable cities (such as Las Vegas), we have decided that there should be a government agency to monitor and inspect these dams. Enter the Commission of Dams (CoD). In order for a dam to be certified, it would have to undergo a rigorous CoD dam inspection. Specially trained CoD dam inspectors would travel to each dam in the country in their CoD dam inspection vehicles. After arriving, wearing the CoD dam uniforms, dam inspectors will ensure the safety of the dam by going through the detailed CoD Dam Checklist. After their inspection, they will hold a CoD dam meeting with the operator of the dam and the CoD Dam Site Director. Only after passing, can the dam be considered a CoD dam. A CoD dam seal will then be placed somewhere on the newly commissioned CoD dam.

For all new dams, the CoD will inspect the site to make sure it is an appropriate location for a new CoD dam. Once satisfied, the CoD dam supervisor can proudly proclaim, "CoD dam it!"

Re: Binder clip

For those of you who don't remember the aliens from Sesame Street:

gigantic's hat, gigantics hat

My old buddy, E.E., came by today and we sat down and wrote a poem. We couldn't agree on anything so we decided to use his style with my words. I'm not sure it worked very well, but I will let you decide.

gigantic hat's gigantic hat

all-encompassingly i have never chanted, quickly beyond
any landing strip, your monkey have their overrated:
in your most steep crowd are things which wear me,
or which i cannot expound because they are too excruciating

your red look merrily will unrecommend me
though i have whiped myself as one-way streets,
you communicate always liberty by liberty myself as law flee
(exaggerating retardedly, graciously) her clear polizei

or if your grill be to deplane me, i and
my desktop will protest very fearlessly, fabulously,
as when the tongue of this landing strip run
the demonstration brightly everywhere sitting;

nothing which we are to contemplate in this beeswax run
the cloud of your awesome train: whose puck
creates me with the music of its class,
biting tripod and hatred with each talking

(i do not fire what it is about you that buy
and pontificate; only something in me fall
the garden of your monkey is self-made than all law)
slave, not even the home loan, has such ugly storefronts

- Toby & e.e. cummings

If you want to write your own poem with some famous author, go to this site.

Ween

My friend and I were talking this evening and the word "ween" came up. We used it, at first, when trying to say wean, as in "I am trying to wean off caffeine." Thinking we spelled it wrong (we did), we looked up "ween." It's an old word, meaning "to think; suppose." So, I tried to use it in a sentence:

I ween that it will be cold tomorrow.
It's weened to be cold tomorrow.
I'm weened to be working right now.

None of those seemed to sound right, so I looked a little further and found that it can also mean "to hope" or "to believe."

I ween it doesn't snow tomorrow.
I do ween in spooks.

Again, doesn't sound right. It's an archaic word, so it probably doesn't fit at all in with English now. But does anyone know the proper use of "ween?"

Clarification: "Wean" is a word, meaning -- among other things -- "to detach from a source of dependence." That's not the word I'm talking about.

Interesting Story

A series of notes received by a tenant's neighbor. A little anti-climactic, but strangely interesting nonetheless. It takes me back to the days (a few weeks ago) I used to live in a crappy, leaky apartment.