09 July 2008

Expertise, fo' shizzle.

I got an entertaining Facebook message last night from my friend, Melanie, whom I met in Munich last year. It was ironically entitled "expertise." She and I often exchange messages asking about the intricacies about each others' languages (she speaks German, in case you didn't deduce that with her being from Munich), but this one was especially funny. With her permission, here it is:

I need your expertise as an english native. My boss wants to know what "hustlaz" means. It is used in Basketball, and in the Gangster milieu? The same with the words "pimp" and "Homie" - they apparently call their friends that.
And the girls say "Ho(e)" to each other, whats that? :-)

Sorry for so many questions...
Hope you can help us
I couldn't help but laugh. Not because they were silly or stupid questions, but because she was asking me, the whitest person I know! So, after giving it a little thought, and trying to translate a vernacular about which I know almost nothing (with a little help from the Urban Dictionary, I replied with
Hey Mel! I think you're asking the wrong American; I am, as they say, "too white" to be talking like that! Doesn't stop me when using it when goofing around, though!

A "hustla," or "hustler" is someone who has ways of getting money out of people, like selling drugs or guns or something. It usually involves cheating someone out of their money, somehow. And it's definitely gangsta!

Pimp is someone who deals out prostitutes and collects the money. Pimps have a lot of money. They are also hustlaz (PS: adding a "z" instead of an "s" to make something plural is also a gangsta thing. I do it to be funny sometimes.)

Homie is short for homeboy. It refers to a good friend. Again, also in gangsta parlance. "Jared is my homie."

"Ho" is short for hooker, or prostitute, or whore, or lady of the night. Pimps have hos. If you're calling someone that, make sure they're a close friend. Definitely don't say it to strangers, especially in LA.

Also, throw in phrases like "fo' shizzle" (for sure) and "on the rizzle" (for real). And "word up yo," which really doesn't mean anything as far as I know, but I use it all the time.

I think I got all that right, but again, I could be way off! Any ideas? Any other choice "American" words or phrases I should teach Melanie?


Mel said...

Toby, awesome!!! :-)
I sent the post to all my colleagues!

Rachel said...

Toby that is priceless...and you are right, you are too white to be dolling out gansta advice ;-). "Peeps" (and no, I don't mean the easter candy) is probably another good one for her, and perhaps "thug" if she doesn't already know it, you might throw biatch in there, but that seems like a pretty easy one. I will try to think of more delightfully colorful phrases that she might find amusing :-).

lukas said...

Thanks, homie. Gittin props an' a cookie for dat, bro!
Peace out to all my geez, pimps, playaz, hustlaz and hoez!

Crom said...

Good Lord, Toby. The only thing that could make you whiter is if you painted yourself with liquid paper and began frequenting Weird Al concerts.

Should you need some mad flava kicked in your ear in the future, I hereby volunteer my services.